Hello TMZ! Someone wants to join your circus.

Srsly.

“Truman the Paparazzi-Stalking Puppet Tiger” is a custom-built comedic entertainment prototype, adaptively designed to work in a supplemental profit-maximizing capacity within your existing operation by remixing and reusing the preexisting content you already create.  Much like the way in which TMZ is designed to work hand-in-hand with the entertainment industry itself, even if from the tabloid angle, the addition of my multi-layered, uniquely positioned, and purpose-built comedic character into the TMZ cast (in a specialized position or variety of them), is designed around a symbiotic, win-win partnership model, down to the very core of the character itself in relation to the function of your organization within the larger umbrella of the entire entertainment industry.

What I’m requesting, on the low-end, is a traditional “TMZ cast reporter” role or tour guide position within your organization.  On the high end, the opportunity to create a test pilot comedy “show within a show” utilizing the preexisting production resources, material, and format of your operation, which is what I’ll now focus on describing in further detail.

At the core of my design is the comedic contrast of a wise-cracking clueless puppet animal being mixed into the existing conversation about the supposedly highest and fanciest earthlings among us.  The purpose of Truman’s unique positioning within the Hollywood spectrum has been specifically engineered to provide maximum opportunity for comedic fallout, all while adding a dose of legitimate intellect and knowledge to the conversational mix.  In theory, this is designed to broaden the mass appeal of your existing product mix to an even larger audience, while offering the same product line with more wholesome content, all cleverly comedically disguised as a child’s toy with an adult’s mind, brought to interactive life.  Think Baby Stewie, The Brain, and Johnny Bravo all mixed into one, commenting on the behavior of his Hollywood brethren with a heavy measure of psuedoscientific analysis.

Due to the once-in-a-generation extreme financial turbulence our nation and the global economic design is presently feeling, the entertainment industry is positioned to grow as people consume more television and entertainment products out of boredom and escapism, so the demographics on which your niche within the present industry is built are solid.  The flip-side is, the viewing audience may be far more sensitive to the typical excess and ostentatious behavior of the celebrities you cover.  Accordingly, Truman’s character has been positioned extremely low, to provide a contrasting POV and make the viewing audience feel better about their own predicaments, all hidden behind the defense mechanism of comedy.

Since this is a uniquely conceived and designed position I’m in and character I’m selling you, there really is no competition except with myself and your opinions as to whether or not you feel the material is genuinely entertaining enough to add to your existing product mix.  I’m not competing just to be another random TMZ reporter hired to your cast; I’m competing to be a TMZ reporter hired to your cast that brings with him the potential for an entire unique additional independent subcomponent that can increase the value of what you already create, and add an entire additional side show to your top-ranked celebrity circus.

Dax has his own webchat.  RibEye has his own place on the website and a Twitter.  The TMZ bus tour is completely separate from your original core business model but was finally recognized as an additional potential source of revenue using only a reinvention your existing brand and platform to promote it.  Although I would settle for a regular job to start, what I bring to the table with me in this project, character, and backstory is the opportunity to branch out and expand your existing brand into an entire additional market for comedy.

TMZ is clearly already an extremely profitable company, which is why I’m not afraid to approach you with this proposition for a pilot spinoff, to include Truman on your cast, or even to make him your mascot, as I am fully secure in his comedic ability.  Although I would very much like to discuss all ideas regarding this angle with your team, what I hypothetically propose is creative inclusion and a unique TMZ website-based area to publish whatever remix contributions the addition of his character might be able to offer.  The reasons for this are simple, as it simply reuses what you already have to increase profits and pageviews at minimal risk or investment on your end.

Additionally, Truman adds a built-in level of “hater protection” from those that find what you presently do vapid and shallow.  With his depth, contrast, juxtaposition, and heavy dose of self-deprecation towards himself, me, the paparazzi, and Hollywood celebrity antics in general, even those that don’t watch or can’t stand the existing TMZ offerings might tune-in for his puppet-based sarcasm provided as a bonus a la carte option to your existing business model.

In closing, I’ll state the obvious: the puppet tiger is a gimmick.  A tool.  A mechanism.  A comedic weapon for discussion and debate of both serious and trivial real-world issues.

My passion lies within the discussion itself.  Discussion of the behavior of the highest-ranking, highest-profile, and wealthiest members of our society as role models at a very unique time in history.  Discussion of how their choices and examples, and even the choice to focus on their various choices and examples, impacts and effects the viewing audience of millions.

I’m curious, and I feel this is something that can best, if not only, be understood from a position inside your organization, on the front lines, with access to the full feedback loop of public opinion that the hallmark interactive nature of your forum innovates and facilitates.  I find the proposition of participating in your central stage debates quite alluring, as it seems TMZ goes beyond the surface of the issues to the underlying framework of celebrity behavior, and, in turn, the audience’s interpretation of it.  Your lawyer-like conversations about shallow celebrity cannon fodder can often get quite deep, and that’s what I’m all about.

Of course I can easily hold my own as a “normal” human presenter within your existing conversational structure, but I wanted to add even more to it if humanly possible.  Enter existential philosophical analysis of celebrity behavior coming from a puppet animal.  In my humble opinion, the potential for comedy doesn’t get any better than that.

Call me?

(Actually, no, wait.  Please read as much as you can or care to from the rest of this website I specifically built to score a job with you first.  Then call me.)

Some of the pages I made extremely deft with lots of pictures so you can get through them quick.  Others are far more verbose, and even, apologetically, redundant, as the various facets of different aspects of my designs, myself, the tiger character, my 10/5-year “writing project,” TMZ, Hollywood, and an even bigger picture and storyline all criss-cross.  Occasionally the same topics will pop-up in various places, but all in support of each other and the deeply intellectually reinforced designs coming from different angles.  I decided to err on the side of over-explaining rather than under-explaining, lest anyone not understand the true core logic, purpose, and reasoning behind the various aspects and underlying motives of what is, admittedly, probably the craziest or coolest out-of-the-blue project, proposition, and “True Hollywood Story” you’ve been presented with this week.

That said, as the Boy Scouts say: Be prepared.  Hollywood is a town and industry built on story and character, and that’s what this is.

And please don’t read the first (1 /// About Me) page and form complete opinions without reading the (6 /// Y Addendum), which explains the otherwise seemingly inexplicable with complete candor.

The pages were designed to be read through in numerical order.  Since some of them are far longer than others, for your convenience, I’ve gone ahead and included estimates of how long it will take to go through each page below.  Of course, if you’d like to get the complete picture, the more you can afford the time to read and watch, the better.  Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.  I look forward to your hearing your thoughts on what I’ve created.

Landing/Home – Video (2 min), Text (4 min)

1 /// About Me – Text/Pictures (5 min)

2 /// About the Tiger – Text/Pictures (6 min), Video (6 min)

3 /// Why Me – Text/Pictures (6 min), Video (*snerk*)

4 /// Why the Tiger – Text/Pictures (25 min), Video (84 min)

5 /// Why TMZ – Text/Pictures (7 min), Video (1 min)

6 /// Y Addendum – Text (11 min)

7 /// Z Contact Me – Text (1 min)

P.S. If the image captions aren’t funny enough, try the hovertags.